so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We have started to decorate penises.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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