I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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