I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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