is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
