she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize