Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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