it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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