I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
