I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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