Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
