nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
