thus making me awesome and them whores
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
