I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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