My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
