How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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