Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize