HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize