at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
