but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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