Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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