32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
