You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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