I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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