another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
