OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
