Where is the hickey?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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