dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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