Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
