garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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