I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
