So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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