My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize