I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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