arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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