covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
