I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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