it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
