Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
