I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm getting married
To pizza
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
