but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
