i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
