My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
