Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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