we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
