Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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