whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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