p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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