is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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