yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
