Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
