He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
