Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
