It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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