Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it was like eating out sand paper
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
