THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
