I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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