do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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