Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
