i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
