Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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