Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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